Author, Myles Reed - Interview - Online Personals Watch: News on the Online Dating Industry and Business

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Comments

Andre Brunger

We know online dating growth has slowed, but what are the statistics for the size of the remaining untapped markets? This is the audience for Myles' book.

I'm really glad that Myles has found a mate using dating sites. His experience with them seems to have been a very successful one. I would agree that internet dating is an unprecedented opportunity to meet all kinds of people very easily, and that anyone looking for love should give it a try.

However, his optimistic comment that "That’s the only reason why people sign up for online dating sites, they are thirsty and they are lonely for love" is a little more innocent than I would expect from someone with all his experience. Perhaps because he is a sincere male who was able to find quality women? On the other side, many women fear or have dropped out of online dating because of dishonest or shallow men.

Online daters of both sexes are out there for all kinds of reasons, some of which won't fit into even the broadest definition of love. An ego boost, entertainment or amusement, casual sex, even revenge or misanthropy can be motivations for people using these sites.

Even people who think they are genuinely "looking for love" are often unable to be honest with themselves about what they really want or can handle.

For a more sophisticated look at the variety of online daters and their motivations, I recommend the book "I Love You, Let's Meet" by Virginia Vitzthum.

If you multiply your opportunities, you also multiply your risk. I believe that though the ratio of negative experiences to positive ones doesn't have to be any worse in online dating than in the real world, you must use common sense and caution to keep it that way.

For sure, anyone who has been hesitant should give it a try, be a little open to the possibilities, but know yourself and take the time to know the other person.

Myles Reed, Jr.

Andre,

Thanks for the comments and thanks for reading the article. I think that we have a common view of the circumstances around online activity. What's important to understand about online dating is that we are dealing with an unavoidable dynamic and that is the human nature. Much of the challenges that people experience online did not originate with online dating. There have always been people who have pursued superficial encounters.

If someone is looking for a hook-up, it doesn't take much effort for that and there are plenty of sites that can facilitate that. This will not change whether we are speaking of online or 'off-line' interactions. It would be naive for someone to think that a tool would change the motivations of a person's heart.

The fantastic thing is that for people who are interested in a serious relationship, the Internet provides a tremendously positive option. People just need to know how to use this wonderful new tool. In my book, Fishing for Love on the Net, I explain many of the culture norms that exist online that materially impact the dating experience. I also give readers effective techniques to make their online dating experience work for them. My book is written for people who are looking for love. It is important for everyone to keep in mind that if you run across someone who isn't interested in what you want, you have to have the courage to "toss them back" and continue to fish for love on the net.

Sam Moorcroft, ChristianCafe.com

Myles,

Nice interview. When you said that "ultimately, (I) settled in on what I call a Specialty site, which was ChristianCafé.com", did you meet your better half with us? :-)

Myles Reed, Jr.

Sam,

That's absolutely correct. Why don't you contact me at my website, www.fishingforlove.net so that we can discuss things in more detail.

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